I’ve told people that, given my blog’s format, if there’s a new remake/reboot I feel compelled to review both that and the original. I’ll make an exception for this new Hellboy because the entire world seems to have already decided not to watch it, LOL. Would have made an exception for the new Pet Sematary as well but my former boss at Paramount specifically requested it. You’re welcome Wissam 😉
If you’re wondering why I wasn’t eager to watch it, the answer is I read the book in 7th grade and wasn’t much of a fan, although I love some other Stephen King work. Basically it’s a story of a bad supernatural thing happens, then it simply keeps happening until the book abruptly and predictably ends. Rather dry plot despite the intriguing concept. I vastly prefer W.W. Jacobs’s legendary The Monkey’s Paw, as it didn’t simply have the attention-grabbing hook necessary to be “high-concept”; it actually gives you a wonderfully crafted, nail-biting story.
You might be wondering what exactly the hook is in this case. For anyone who doesn’t already know, Pet Sematary is about a cemetery (after reading the book and watching this movie I still have no idea why the spelling is deliberately incorrect) where you can bury dead creatures and they’ll come back to life except…they’re different.
Did this movie improve on the book I didn’t particularly care for? I suppose. My high school government/economics teacher had a phrase “point of no return” to describe the moment in a story where things can no longer go back to the way they were before. e.g. when Romeo kills Tybalt in Romeo and Juliet. Sorry about the spoiler but it’s already been 522 years.
It’s only been nine days since the release of this version of Pet Sematary though so I won’t reveal how the “point of no return” has changed. Apparently it was briefly Hollywood’s worst kept secret but luckily I didn’t know. I will say that it was the most inspired part of this retelling and in fact the events that followed got me tense and made me feel like we were going in a completely different direction than the book. I really wanted to see how this film ended!
By the time the credits rolled I was disappointed though; this wasn’t so different after all. The two directors I’ve never heard of actually did a pretty good job and John Lithgow elevates the film with his supporting performance. Jason Clarke, whom I’d previously thought of as the guy Hollywood calls whenever they need a random middle-aged white guy, managed to move me as well this time and now that I’ve watched my first Amy Seimetz performance I hope to see much more of her!
Still, middling film. Stream a version of “The Monkey’s Paw” instead; there are plenty.
Up next: the original.
Bottom line: Not recommended.
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