This has been a long time coming. I was hoping to have it done prior to the last month’s Emmys where Chernobyl did outstanding. However, as of this writing, the most recent episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver did make a couple of references to the titular disaster so this is still timely.

Part of the reason it took so long is that, other than the mammoth MCU undertaking, this is my most ambitious project. After all I heard people talk about Chernobyl, I tried thinking of something with which I could combine it for a post.

When my friend Nathan referred to the first episode as “like a disaster movie” I had my idea. I’d always wanted to watch The Towering Inferno from the 1970s disaster golden age. Since Chernobyl has five episodes I decided to join it with five disaster movies, roughly 20 years apart from each other!

I’m starting with the earliest disaster flick of which I know. 1936’s San Francisco is considered a classic. I actually first learned about it in the Video Hound’s Guide To Movie Epics I got for Christmas when I was 17.

I’ll cut right to the chase by saying I didn’t finish this movie. I was getting restless and I finally gave up when I reached a point where the CinemaSins guy would have said “We have less than an hour left in the runtime and this earthquake movie had yet to start earthquaking!”

Perhaps if the preceding story had been more interesting I would have cared more but it was just bleh. A guy named Blacky (what kind of a name is that?), some sort of concert venue owner, is running for political office. The other man who’s a major character is Blacky’s childhood friend, a priest. There’s also a woman whom I suppose Blacky is building a romance with as he gets her singing career off the ground. My guess is that a love triangle develops but, again, I didn’t care enough to stick around and find out.

I’m obviously not recommending this movie but I’ll at least give it some points. First of all, the opening credits are awesome. I thought something was wrong with my TV but the shaking effect was actually meant to give the feel of an earthquake. Unfortunately that’s the only hint of an earthquake for over the first third of the movie.

The other reason I’ll give it a few props is that there are three legendary movie stars in the leading roles – Spencer Tracy, Jeanette MacDonald, and Clark Gable. In fact, my mom and my much older sister are crazy about the latter. Funny story: when I was nine we were visiting Atlanta and there was supposed to be some sort of exhibit honoring Gone with the Wind. There was one pair of binoculars for the family to share and my mom said if they saw the Clark Gable lookalike she would get the binoculars. My sister said, “If Clark Gable’s there I get them. And him.” Then I hit her.

Everyone was baffled, wondering what got me mad. I guess this is the first anyone else is finding out but I was trying to look out for my mom, making sure SHE was the one to get her dream man.

Anyway, enough nonsense. On to something better.

Bottom Line: Watch if you must but do NOT expect a thrilling disaster film.

Up Next: The 1950s’ turn!